We came home this summer to visit family and friends but most of all to raise money for our children's home we are opening, to help pay for a teacher, our feeding program and our own personal support to stay on the mission field.
Most days I feel so confident in what I am doing and I believe that the Lord is going to provide for all of our needs and other days like say right now it makes me feel like a failure and that I am not doing enough to raise the funds. I feel like I have failed myself, our ministry but most of all I feel like I failed the kids waiting for us back in Haiti.
In my imaginary life I wouldn't have to ask people for money or think of ways to raise money, I would be able to do it on my own. But I know in reality that is not what God wants. He didn't ask me to use all my money to provide for the kids in Haiti, He asked me get and go and be the person on the field who would be hands on with the children.
This morning Chris and I had a talk about how it's always the people you least expect that come to you and say let me help. We have been blessed with people who have come forth to say let me help you with this and it has taken stress away.
But I sit here and think in just a few shorts week I will be heading back to Haiti and all I can think is what if I get back there and I don't have enough funds raised to bring that little girl into our home where she will be safe, fed and loved. Or what if I don't have enough money to hire that teacher who could sure use a good job to help tutor those kids so they don't repeat grade 3 for the fourth time.
For some people this may not have any affect on their lives, but for me it breaks my heart. Today I had a man give me $2 to help put towards our children's home. It's not a lot but it's start, and as I walked away he said "Good Luck." And I could do in return is look at him with tears in my eyes and say "Thank you, you have no idea how much this means."
For the last week $1 on been on my mind. Can you believe that a $1? But I want to change that $1 into $15,000. So here I sit as I ask for 15,000 people to come forward and donate $1 to our ministry. The great part about donating $1 is that you aren't having to give up anything but you are gaining so much more.