Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The End has come... or has it?

Well folks my "7" journey ended yesterday and I have to say it ended in a way I never expected. This month I focused releasing my stress and spending lots of prayer time with God. Praying 7 times a day can be difficult at times, especially when you have three wild animals... I mean three children running around the house all day or with you wherever you go. But I tried my best. There were times where my alarm would go off to remind me and I would turn it off and tell myself after I'm doing this I'll pray and then totally forget to do it. I ask myself how I can I forget to spend even as a little as two minutes with God when he never forgets me and is always with me?

While there were certain things that I talk to God about this month, he really showed me he listens. I prayed for one aspect of my life where I need help. Well he sure listened and he sure did put me to the test. One lady I talked to said that she believed that sometimes God has to make sure that what we are praying for is something we really want to change and how else will we ever notice the change if we aren't given opportunities to see for ourselves. Well I noticed and I had a tough time at certain points where I wanted to say "forget it, I can't do this." But I did do it, and it's because He helped me through it.

There was also another burden that has been heavy on heart for a long time that I needed to release and I talked to God about it and He knew it was time. He sent me the right people at the right time to help me through this. He set me free.

So there you have I have completed my journey. I am done. Or am I? Of course I'm not done, my journey on this earth isn't done until I enter the gates of Heaven. I bet you thought the title was meant for my journey that I took. Nope, sorry.

Two days ago, I lost my granny. I was informed in the evening that she was being brought to the hospital. I just felt at that moment that it was time. So I prayed to the Lord to be with her, to take away any pain she may feel. See I know God is our healer, even when sometimes we don't like the outcome. So I told myself to be strong and not to be weak. Time went by and I got a phone call where I fought back every tear so they wouldn't hear my weakness. Then as I lay in bed, the panic started and the fear of death came back. I could see my phone light up and instead of picking it up to hear the news I ignored it and pretended that it just wasn't real. It's been a long time since I've had to deal with the death of a loved one and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. But after taking sometime to read the Bible I came upon this verse that has brought me comfort.

"Blessed are those who mourn,for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4 ESV

So now the question is... has my granny's time come to end. Some may think yes. Me, I think yes her time on this earth has come to end, but she's not gone. I believe that the Lord took her hand, held it tight and led her into the arms of the man she loves and the baby she has longed to see, and they have just begun their life together.

I am sad that she is gone and I know that it's okay to be sad, but I also know she is in a much better place. And the picture that I've made for myself in my head about where she is now even puts a smile on my face.

I Love You Granny xoxoxo

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